Having recently celebrated a big birthday myself, as well as the birthdays of many people close to me and having recently attended several bridal events and a wedding, I feel qualified to say the food in our culture is vast and abundant. While this is an exciting thing, it’s also a major challenge for those of us living with sub-par pancreases.
That said, there is no reason to fret! We just have to find ways to participate that aren’t damaging and make decisions about the types and amounts of risk or hurt we’re willing to take.
I recently had a great conversation about this with my soon-to-be-aunt, Melissa, at a birthday celebration for my soon-to-be-grandmother-in-law (all those hyphens!). We were talking with Melissa’s mom (not the soon to be GMIL), who is a type 2 diabetic and does pretty well overall with managing her diet and medications.
Melissa had some great concerns and questions about how I decide what to do in special occasions where there are things like birthday cake. Melissa, her mom, and I had a very honest conversation about the challenges surrounding food choices, and how important it is to be able to participate and “live” rather than just “survive”.
(Melissa also asked me when I was posting here again. I’m thinking once a week, or an every other week schedule for posts moving forward. Either way, thank you for the question and affirmation someone’s reading Melissa!)
So, how do we decide what’s important enough to risk the cake?
I ask myself a few questions as I’m making these decisions, and I like to think they are good ones:
- What’s the event?
- Making it 7 days without cake is probably not a good reason to eat some. That said, sometimes I just want cake. It’s about the balance factor for me really, and I try not to double down on desserts in a day or weekend if I can help it. Generally, birthdays, weddings, retirement parties, etc. (you know, major life things), are celebratory times where I’ll strongly consider participating in dessert.
- What else did I eat today?
- She who ate an ice cream cone 2 hours ago shall not eat birthday cake now, unless she A) WENT RUNNING OR GOT OTHER STRENUOUS EXERCISE or B) IT IS HER BIRTHDAY or C) SHE’S JUST DOING THE “WRONG” THING, DAMMIT. In all seriousness though, I treat my days and weeks as a sliding scale. If I did a dessert earlier, there is a strong possibility of me not doing anything like that now without an A, B, or C factor at play.
- How do I feel now? How do I predict I’ll feel later?
- This question is a good one for checking in with the total picture of health. Am I overly full? Am I eating this because I want to, or because I feel a social obligation? What kind of dessert is this? What do I know about my reactions to this from previous experiences? How bad will I regret this later, one way or another? Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is real, and diabetes is extremely good at providing FOMO, so I include that in my prediction questions?
- What is my blood sugar like right now?
- This one feels a little self explanatory, but it really does make a difference. I don’t like to eat some desserts when my blood sugar is low, for instance, because I know I’ll be inclined to over eat. I generally don’t participate if my blood sugar is actually high (versus “just after dinner” high, which is in the 200s for me).
- Do I know what’s in this dessert? Are there options to lessen the damage?
- SO IMPORTANT. Ask the question, “What’s in this?” You may be surprised. This is important to know for bolusing/injections and answering many of the other questions here. Also, if you’re like me and the people in your life know you’re diabetic, they may be doing swaps (Splenda instead of sugar, applesauce, etc.) to be helpful and that can seriously impact the carb-count.
- What are the social/emotional/mental factors here?
- Let’s be blunt: #diabetesisaprick and there are days where the dessert sounds good, or the guilt feels bad, for the wrong I try to check in with these factors to make sure I’m eating things I truly enjoy and doing it for the right reasons. Binge-eating cake because we’ve had a bad day is NOT enjoying a social gathering with family to celebrate someone you love. It just isn’t. Sorry.
So, these are some baseline questions to use when making food choices. But at the end of the day, I’ll share here what I shared with Melissa and her (absolutely wonderful and very-on-top-of things) mom.
“We do the best we can with what we have, because it is all we can do.”
That’s it. There’s not another secret recipe or motto that has served me more in these situations, or in moments where I’m making self care decisions.
Stay tuned for Part 2 of this post, where I’ll share recipes and alternative food ideas for when we want to celebrate “on the wagon” instead of getting off and trying to get back on post-celebration.
Sending Love and Light,
Megan
P.S. Do you have something great you want to share with the online diabetes community? Have a story or idea you think could be helpful? Send them over! These communities work best when they are interactive communities, and there are people everywhere that can benefit from your story, whether you’re a diabetic, a care provider, a member of the medical community, or a family member or friend. Send them to us at megan@thefriendlyneighborhooddiabetic.com (Justin can look at that one too!).
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