Tag: collaboration

Chronic Illnes, For Family & Friends

So This is the New Year….

Justin Cates

I’m proud of my wife.

This isn’t an effort to win points in some imaginary husband contest or to impress the Internet with how thoughtful I am. There is no scoreboard in a relationship and if there is, you should probably run away from that situation with haste.

No, I’m just stating a fact. I’m proud of her intelligence and grace under pressure. Her gentle touch when handling problems. And of course, her ability to navigate the uneasy waters of chronic illness.

I myself am a less reliable captain of my own vessel. I have a tendency to lose focus and drift off course. I find myself making questionable choices in the face of difficulty or simply serving as an unreliable narrator in my own story.

I for example rarely know what day it is without looking it up and I’ve always struggled with remembering the current year. That was frequently a situation in the before times. I suspect it’s a permanent state for me now after nearly two years of pandemic life.

There are also my semi-frequent excuses which can easily lead to a trend of bad behavior.

‘I can eat this. I can drink that. It doesn’t matter I’m screwed either way.’

This is a comfortable mindset to fall into when burdened by the weight of genetics.

My family history strongly suggests that I’ll either live to be ancient and lose all mental faculties during my waning years, or—and this is more likely—go out due to heart disease just about the time I’m eligible to collect social security payments.

Given that, it’s not hard at all to throw my hands in the air and do whatever I like.

Except it’s not quite that simple.

I have a great wife and plenty of family who care about me, even if it feels like it’s getting smaller as the years go by. At the risk of sounding full of myself, the world is unquestionably better with me in it and I can line up dozens of witnesses to attest to that your honor.

I’ve thought about this quite a bit recently after a death in my family and another on my wife’s side of things. It’s true that we can’t outrun genetics or consume some magic elixir to cure what ails us. We do however have the ability to take control of the things that are in our power to control.

Whether it’s getting some more exercise or just showing a little restraint in our diets, there are plenty of choices we can make daily to improve our standing in the cosmic calculus of life and death.

This is not however a call to action to live a clean and virtuous life. That friends is for suckers.

Take some chances, indulge yourself every now and then. Eat some cake, have too many drinks, spend an entire weekend without putting on real pants or leaving the couch. Life without these things mixed in once in a while isn’t the rich tapestry we deserve.

All work and no play makes Jack a real dull bastard, ya know?

The turning of the calendar into a new year can be a daunting time to make changes. I hate it myself, partly because it’s an extraordinary cliche. Like Ben Gibbard once said:

So this is the new year. And I have no resolution. It’s self-assigned penance. For problems with easy solutions.”

Death Cab For Cutie

It also bothers me because it puts too much pressure on the person making an effort. The weight of genetics is a heavy burden to carry but so too is the weight of a New Year’s resolution. So maybe just don’t do that.

Try and take it as things come and say to yourself, “It’s another year that I won’t remember on a daily basis. Maybe I won’t take that personally. I’ll just try and do better when I can.”

It’s a modest beginning but sometimes the best ones are just that.

Chronic Illness, For Diabetics, For Family & Friends, For Medical Professionals, Type 1 Diabetes

Vaccines Part 2: The Pfizer Booster Effects

acolemacx

We got our boosters on Sunday, October 3 and by the middle of the night that night we had side effect symptoms. Nothing too crazy, but I had a headache, nausea, body aches, a low grade temperature, and some wild blood sugars. I was also tired, but I think that was in part blood sugar related. I get wild blood sugars any time I get a vaccine, take a new medication, think about eating a doughnut, look West into the sun just right… you get the picture. So I was not alarmed by this at all. The side effects lasted for me for about 48-72 hours. Justin felt better from his symptoms (milder than most of mine from his description) within 24-36 hours. I was happy I scheduled to be off work on Monday, October 4 “just in case” because I admittedly did not feel well. I was able to go back to work and get things done the remainder of that week, even though I still felt a little off. Again, I think this was mostly from the blood sugars.

Many experts are saying that these side effects are actually a good thing; that that is one way to tell if your body is building an immune response. Neither Justin nor I had many symptoms after getting the first or second shots, so we were actually both kind of nervous that perhaps that meant our immunity wouldn’t be as strong. After the booster, and the couple days of discomfort from our boosters, we are both feeling better (mentally and physically!).

The vaccine boosters have provided a sense of added security that I’m really enjoying. I even ate inside a restaurant recently! The sooner everyone can get vaccinated, the sooner we can start to really put all of this behind us. If you had the Pfizer shot, and you’re a Type 1 or Type 2 diabetic, or have a number of other chronic and critical illnesses, you qualify to get your booster. You too can have some added reassurance!

I’m getting the flu shot next weekend, so I will post part 3 with an update about that process after that.

Please note that the image associated with this post was from a Google Image Search “Vaccine Images Free”; original content site can be found here.

Diabetes Distress, For Diabetics, For Family & Friends, For Medical Professionals, Type 1 Diabetes

Some more thoughts on 30 Years in here

acolemacx

Warning: This is another anniversary post. Anniversaries are funny; they keep coming every year (if you’re lucky).

Also, Trigger Warning: Some mention of death, chronic illness, and abuse.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 30 years this year.

It’s hard to believe mostly because it doesn’t seem like that long-they say “time flies when you’re having fun”. Consequently, it also flies when you’re living your life, busy, having fun, AND have a chronic illness.

Type 1 Diabetes affects millions around the world each year, but back when I was first diagnosed it was not that common. For a long time, I was the youngest person in my region to be diagnosed and survive, which is a strange label to have placed on you from the age of two on, but it’s what I was given to work with.

I’m a believer in the butterfly effect; one of those overly enthusiastic, “everything happens for a reason” people. And while I don’t believe in a vengeful God, I do believe that my chronic illness was meant for me; given to me for a reason.

I can look through my life and think of the negative things diabetes has provided. It was a source of agony as a child; personally and for my family. As a young child I was the subject of abuse at the hands of people my family trusted to care for me; I was nearly killed from that abuse when adults withheld food that I had already received insulin for. I lost friends who didn’t understand that you couldn’t “catch” diabetes and afraid for themselves, they didn’t want to be friends. I struggled with my weight, with my peers, with having to educate adults, having to advocate for myself medically; I struggled with guilt, fear, grief, anxiety, depression…the death of friends and the fear of losing my own life and limbs.

That said, I can look through my life and see far more good things. From that abuse, I learned about the importance of strength of spirit and the impact of kindness. I became a steadfast advocate for children and people with disabilities.  I developed my voice and my confidence early and found that I didn’t need to care what other people thought; life was literally too short for that. I learned that you can tell a lot about people from what they do for others in weak moments, and I learned that there are a lot of different ways to show love.  I gathered friends who, even when they didn’t understand, listened and cared and hugged me when I needed it. I got physically strong and by the time I was 16 I understood more about my body than most grown adults.

Now I’ve spent years digging into my own past, my own psyche, and healing wounds. I’ve dedicated my life to helping others to live their best lives; professionally, personally, and healthily, in whatever way I am able to do that best.

And now, now that I’m 30 years in, I feel like I’m starting a new chapter. As a child and teen, and even in my last 10 years of adulthood, I never really felt confident that I’d get here. I wasn’t sure I’d live this long, and I wasn’t always sure I wanted to. Losing people along the way from the same disease that I was coping with day in and day out was incredibly challenging. Deciding I was worth this much work, personally and for my family, was hard. It’s financially stressful, emotionally taxing, and physically demanding.

Then I hit 30 years old. I got married to my best friend in the world, surrounded by the many people who love me and two of the medical professionals who helped bring me to that moment. I got to thank those two medical professionals at my wedding for helping me get to this point in my story.

So what now?

That’s the question at hand. I admit as I come upon this 30th anniversary with Type 1, I can’t help but be overcome with a combination of strong and deep feelings. I feel happy that I’ve gotten to do so many things in my lifetime and that I’ve gotten to spend so much time with people I care about. I feel relieved that I’m still in pretty good health overall and excited and grateful for future opportunities to improve and charge ahead. Some days, I feel like a strong voice in a strange storm; a gorilla beating on my chest and yelling, “Come at me Bro!” into the void at a pancreas that’s long dead inside me.

But I also feel guilt. I feel survivor’s guilt; I feel like that for every bad decision I’ve made, for every time I hurt someone else, or caused myself or someone else harm in some way, that maybe I don’t deserve to still be here. Honestly, I feel grief. I still experience grief at the loss of normalcy after 30 years, and I grieve how quickly this disease forced me to “grow up”. No second grader should have a grasp on their own mortality the way that I did, and I grieve for the little girl inside me that still believes in Santa Claus, but knows that she may not wake up in the morning if she does too many handstands and cartwheels after her evening snack.

And I feel uncertainty. I’ve often said I’m going to write a book someday entitled “I’m not supposed to be here”. Because by all scientific accounts, this was not an eventuality or even a probability. My sitting here, with all my limbs, with all my eyesight and original parts and pieces, was a possibility, but not a probability when I was diagnosed in 1991. I would be lying through my teeth if I said that in my deepest heart I believed it when I so confidently said I would live to be an old woman. But now…now that I’ve accomplished another milestone, I can’t help but think about what’s to come, good and bad, and what I’ll do from here.

A friend recently pointed out that I’ve lived my life at a drop dead run. I moved as quickly as I had to make the most of the time I had. I didn’t know how long I had, so I needed to fit in as much as I could. Thing is, I didn’t always plan for the future because it didn’t feel like a thing I had to worry about. If I got there, I’d come up with a plan, but I’d adjust as needed because it wasn’t likely.  Now I’m finding that I need to adjust, which could make this next part of my life the most interesting of all. I have all the time in the world (as far as I’m concerned anyway). I want things; things that take time; things that are worth waiting for that I didn’t allow myself to want. And that friends, is the most exciting part of this anniversary. Now I want stuff, and I’m going after it, no matter how many years it takes.

No one knows how many years we get in this life, or how many we get out of it. As I’ve celebrated this anniversary this past weekend, I’m drawn again to looking at the year ahead with optimism, anticipation, and even some trepidation.

Mostly, looking ahead, I’m excited for all of the things I want and a million more opportunities to help other people get the most out of their lives. I’m also looking forward to more of the everyday opportunities to live and enjoy life. I feel like that’s something everyone can benefit from looking into the years ahead.

For Diabetics, For Family & Friends, For Medical Professionals, Type 1 Diabetes, Uncategorized

We’re Back!

Justin Cates

We’re back, baby! 

So what have we been doing? 

Well…it’s been a few months. The pandemic rages on and I…well, I’m still a diabetic.

I say that line with some jest, though it is of course, honestly true.

We’ve been very fortunate here at The Friendly Neighborhood Diabetic to have zero members of our little team infected with COVID-19 and we’ve been truly fortunate that the few immediate family members we collectively have that had COVID were able to weather it without issues or complications.

That said, COVID-19 certainly has changed things in the world, and it definitely caused me, THE friendly neighborhood diabetic to struggle with my own health, well-being, overall sense of progress, productivity in anything outside of work, etc. That has made the work on our website, and The Friendly Neighborhood Diabetic as a whole, challenging. It’s also made the overall diabetes thing challenging.

I’ve been working hard on getting better overall diabetes management, working on losing weight, working on overhauling my diet and work-life balance, etc. throughout the pandemic times. I’ve taken advantage of the work from home world to help improve my food schedule. I took up cycling during the pandemic (more on that later!), and I’ve told you all of these things to say…

Another year of diabetes done and waaaayyyy more content to come!

We’re relaunching The Friendly Neighborhood Diabetic with the goal of providing information, building a supportive online community, and creating awareness, acceptance, and support for the needs of diabetics everywhere. Similar to our previous goals, but with more focus this time.

I think the pandemic has created different situations and feelings for everyone. For some of us, the pandemic helped us gain perspective and build balance. For others it was a time of tremendous loss and suffering. For others, and I imagine for many like me it provided new insight and reflection into managing my health and finding balance.

So that leads me to my “call to action”. We want to hear your stories. Record a short video, send us an audio clip, write something, draw something, etc. and share it with us for The Friendly Neighborhood Diabetic. Share with our readers and be a part of building this community. Check out the “Share Now” page to learn more about how to be a part.

Please note that we want stories and content from all people who have been impacted by diabetes; not only the individuals with diabetes themselves, but the friends, loved ones, teachers, mentors, etc. of diabetics everywhere. Type 1, Type 2, Warriors, Family, Friends, etc. Please Share! 

Now, if you’re a critic (we all are sometimes!), you’re probably thinking, “Megan. You’ve left and come back before. What’s different this time?” 

And that’s a fair question! 

Simply put, a renewed resolve, more resources, better planning, and lots more voices will make this different. 

Also-we have some exciting announcements and life changes coming in the next several months-so stay tuned for that! 

Looking forward to sharing more about our experience and returning to writing as The Friendly Neighborhood Diabetic! 

-Meg

Cooking, For Diabetics, For Family & Friends, Type 1 Diabetes, Uncategorized

Birthday & Celebration Foods: Part 2 of 3

acolemacx

Megan here with some great ideas for birthday and celebration food ideas.

Last time, I wrote about the questions I ask myself before participating in celebration activities. If you missed it, check out that post here.

This post is specifically centered around the food itself and how to celebrate without falling off the diabetes diet wagon. (Which, consequently, is a terrible wagon where at least one functional part doesn’t work, but I digress.)

So, some great ideas for diabetes friendly celebration sweets:

kraft foods watermelon cake
Excellent picture of the festive, watermelon cake idea! Thank you to Kraft Heinz Foods for posting this gorgeous photo! 

  • Watermelon with sugar free cool whip and berries, which can be arranged to look like a cake if you’re feeling especially festive (see picture above and here for the article and image credits!).
  • Strawberry shortcake with Bisquick biscuits (don’t add sugar!) and Splenda instead of sugar for the strawberries. Serve with no-sugar added vanilla ice cream or frozen yogurt.
  • Chocolate pudding pie made with sugar free pudding and sugar free Cool Whip. You can swap sugar for Splenda or sweetener on the graham cracker crust. Use a pre-made pie crust if you like, just pay attention to the sugars/carbs in there!
  • Sugar free chocolate syrup with strawberries and pretzels for dipping (salty AND sweet!)
  • Frozen yogurt with berries and roasted nuts.
  • Sugar free Jello in the flavor of your choice, with sugar free Cool Whip and crushed pretzels and/or fresh fruit on top.

If you’re like me and enjoy making some easy changes to available things, I recommend some of the following swaps in dessert ordering, making:

  • Fruit sauces on the side when ordering dessert out somewhere (these are usually PACKED with sugar and carbs). I also ask about the whipped cream and whether it’s from a can, Cool Whip, or something similar, or if it’s made in house.  Generally they have to check, but it’s worth the question.
  • Dark chocolate instead of Milk Chocolate, and I use semi-sweet chocolate chips in my cookies/brownies instead of milk chocolate.
  • Swap no-sugar added applesauce in for sugar/sweetener and/or oils in your recipes (see links for advice and details).
  • SHARE.  Sharing is caring folks! If you can share with a friend or family member (or even new person at your table who’s willing to get their own small plate for their portion), DO IT.  It will save you calories, carbs, and too many chances for serious overindulgence.

Autumn cupcake photos
My mom’s hard work at last year’s birthday celebration. Dark chocolate and peanut butter is my favorite!

So there again, just a few ideas for everyone and some suggestions for participating and staying on this pain-in-the-neck wagon.  For more great recipes and ideas, I recommend checking out this great post from the Martha Stewart website and from Taste of Home. Seriously-check these out. There’s over one hundred different recipes here!

I’d LOVE it if you’d like to share some of your recipes and suggestions here too-we can ALL, ALWAYS use ideas for making this life easier and just a little sweeter (sorry-couldn’t resist!). 

Love and Light,

 

Megan C.

 

 

 

Depression, For Diabetics, For Family & Friends, For Medical Professionals, Type 1 Diabetes, Uncategorized

I’m Free! Start and End Dates Part 2.

acolemacx

I’M FREE.

Guys, it’s been two, TWO, whole days since my thirtieth birthday and I’m still here.

WE MADE IT!

I’m so excited to be starting this new chapter of my life; this chapter without a set end date. I’m free from those prognoses dates and I truly feel different as I go into my thirtieth year.

As part of my diabetes treatment plan, I work with a therapist who helps me keep my mental health in check so I can keep my physical health in check. I’m a firm believer that we have to care about our mental well being just like we have to care about our physical health.  There will be several posts about this in the near future.

When I walked in yesterday for my appointment, she said, “Hey! You don’t look dead to me. Congrats!” (She’s awesome and that sense of humor is one of the several things we have in common.)

She’s very right. I’m very much alive.

Riding that high, I took some time Thursday through today to really reflect on my life and how fortunate I am. I did some tough reflecting on how it all has gone and what I’m doing with the next many years of my life. I took a moment of silence and prayer for the people I lost along the way, as there have been several and each birthday and diabetes diagnosis anniversary reminds me that others weren’t so fortunate.

I don’t know what would have been easier. My future mother-in-law passed away in December from complications from Type 1 Diabetes. She was diagnosed in her early thirties after she’d had her two boys and had been living her life eating and doing what she wanted.  When she passed, her and I had had diabetes for about the same amount of time.  It’s hard for me to imagine being diagnosed as an adult and having to adjust an entire life around something that I didn’t know anything about until I had it. I know people do it, but in some ways, I do feel my situation was more fortunate.

That said, I don’t remember life before this disease, but I know from reflecting and living it and working through some of it with my therapist that growing up with it had its own challenges. I know that my physical development was impacted by diabetes and that my psychological and emotional development was hammered on by type 1 diabetes.

I know that by the time I was graduated high school, I had lost several close friends from the thing I was constantly being told would ultimately kill me. I remember waking up at age 9 after a very serious low blood sugar in the back of my parent’s mini van at an amusement park where I had crashed.  I know that I experienced survivor’s guilt for the first time when I was 11, and I’d experience it many more times in my life.  I remember being 14 on a school chorus field trip and we went to sing to the patients in the dialysis lab; I came back to my mom’s office after school and sobbed into her arms because I felt so afraid.  I know that at 29 I watched the man I love struggle with the loss of his mother from the same disease his future wife has.

I don’t mention all of these things in what is ultimately supposed to be an upbeat post because I’m garnering your sympathy. Instead, I list these things out to try to reflect on the things I lived through in this first thirty years of my life. I’m considering these experiences building blocks for whatever is coming. If you believe in the butterfly effect, I had to be a diabetic in order to live this life, and I had to have everyone of these losses and scares to be here now, writing to all of you.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; I’m so fortunate. My diabetes gave me a purpose and a platform and a complex and a lot of good things and a lot of not as great things.  My diabetes made me the person I am, and at thirty I’m really starting to like me.  When I talk about being grateful for this life, I truly don’t know how or why I was born this lucky. But I believe my diabetes, the people I’ve met, helped, known, loved, and the things I’ve experienced, are absolutely a part of the reason I’m here. On Earth, still existing despite being told how extremely unlikely it was that I wouldn’t.

I’m still finding my purpose, but I’m excited to live life without an end date.  I’m going to take this next year and rock it.

If you’re interested in sharing what you’re going to do with this next year, we’re all ears here. Send me an email, share a comment on the post, or message or post to us on Facebook. This life is most fun with all of us in it. 

With Love and Light,

-Megan C.

For Diabetics, For Family & Friends, For Medical Professionals, Type 1 Diabetes, Uncategorized

Start and End Dates-Part 1

acolemacx

It’s officially my 28th year as a diabetic. My “Start Date” is September 3, 1991.

It’s sometimes hard to imagine what life would be like without diabetes.  Like a weird, terrible sidekick that never leaves me alone, diabetes feels like it’s been here forever.

In all seriousness though, I don’t remember life before diabetes became a part of it.

I was diagnosed two days before my second birthday. My family was devastated and my body was traumatized. My hair fell out and I had to be re-potty trained. I was not expected to live to my second birthday (two days later), and the thought of surviving to Kindergarten seemed like a slim hope.

But doctors are not God. They don’t get to decide who of us lives and dies. They just get to offer statistics and assistance and answer questions along the way.

My nuclear family was just my mom, my dad, and I when I was diagnosed. My family put a lot of things on hold (including my siblings) for a few years while I continued to survive and eventually thrived. It wasn’t easy, but they were willing to make it work.  They were willing to wait for me. They were willing to work for me. They were willing to step back or step in, depending on what I needed in that moment.  As my siblings arrived, they did the same.  I’m so grateful they didn’t give up.  So this is a congratulations to our whole family on this one-we made it!

I’ve kept a fairly positive attitude all these years, despite the dismal prognoses that I’ve been handling and the loss of many important people along the way. Diabetes is ruthless-it does not care who you are, or how old you are-you have to deal with it. But I’ve tried to keep upbeat and remember that it’s not just about me.   I would do anything for the people I love, and that includes whatever I have to do to stay healthy and alive.

My family, now inclusive of several more people than when this started, has helped me maintain that attitude with a combination of tough love and motivation. Now, my fiance continues to help with support, love, and a willingness to listen and troubleshoot. They’re not all good days, but between my family, friends, and fiance, I’m not in this alone. They’re all here and I’m so grateful.

As I go into this 28th year of diabetes, I’m proud of myself and the work that I’ve done, but I’m admittedly anxious to see what lies ahead. See, 30 was my final prognoses date.  “If she makes it to 30…” was a statement I’ve actually heard medical professionals (more than one!) make.

I turn 30 in 2 days. On September 5, 2019 I will have outlived the expectations. I will have officially exceeded these ridiculous expiration dates for my life. I will not have an end date after all.  

I’ve done SO MUCH in the past 28 years. I’m not entirely convinced that some of those accomplishments weren’t made simply because in the back of my mind there wasn’t ever going to be enough time. And who knows how much time any of us have, really.  But, they are not God. I am not God. We don’t get to decide that. We get to live in this world, in these bodies, and we get to keep going.

So I’m not going to wallow, or quit, or take up motivational speaking (not today, anyway). Instead, I’m going to take this 28th year in this body, with this illness, and I’m going to rock it. 

I’m going to marry my best friend in 101 days. I’m going to be a really, ridiculously cool aunt to the babies in my biological and chosen family that will be arriving this year. I’m going to travel and see things I haven’t seen yet. I’m going to operate my businesses and take big career chances. I’m going to succeed. And most importantly,  I’m going to spend time with the people I love and I’m going to live my life without an end date.

I’m going to live my life without an end date.  That’s what I’m doing with this 28th year.  That’s what I’m going to do with 30.