Trigger Warning: Language & Discussions of Death
I have struggled for a while on what I wanted to say. I spend some time each day on social media because for the past couple months, it has felt like a lifeline of connection.
My husband and I went into social isolation on March 17, 2020.
We went into isolation “early” because I am a part of a vulnerable population. I’ve had Type 1 Diabetes for 28 (nearly 29) years this year and I’ve had asthma for around 4 years. Many of the stats I’ve read and research I’ve done from major medical organizations and trusted groups have shared that I’m at least 3 times more likely to die if I contract COVID-19. If I were one of the lucky to survive, the chances that I would make it out without at least some serious complications are slim.
I am not writing that out because I want your pity. I am writing it out because it’s important to me that you can put a face, my face, with statements that I’m hearing/seeing being shared.
When you say it is your right not to wear a mask, you are right. You have the right to put yourself in danger. That said, your mask is more of a protection for the people around you, so you’re actually putting other people in danger by not wearing one. You don’t have the right to put other people in danger. That’s why we don’t allow people to drive when they’ve been drinking.
I used the analogy this week that your right not to wear a mask is a lot like your right to own a gun. It is your right to own a gun, but it is not your right to wave it around loaded at other people. It is your right to not wear a mask, but it is not your right to put other people in harms’ way.
I’ve always believed in the goodness of humans. I love people, and I believe you only need to meet me once to understand that I believe people are inherently good. This pandemic is slowly chipping away at that.
People I’ve known for many years and have always thought were good and intelligent posted things earlier this month about Plandemic. They also posted something wondering aloud if this could be a conspiracy. They’ve questioned if all of this is worth the income they’re losing. They’ve griped about the government infringing on them and they’ve said they don’t understand what the big deal is. They’ve posted pictures where they haven’t socially isolated from people they care about, because, why would they do that? They feel fine.
But anytime someone questions the validity or shares misinformation, even just wondering in a public forum if it’s true, I find myself overwhelmed with one of the stages of grief. I never get to acceptance. I continue to hold out hope that my belief in the goodness of all people will win. That hope is more strained all the time.
So this is my challenge to those of you who want to reopen immediately and “get back to normal” without additional precautions in place. This is my statement to the people saying “We’ll lose a few people but ONLY the sick and the elderly.” Or “The strong will survive”.
I want you to see my face, hear my voice, and listen to this challenge.
Call me and tell me why I don’t deserve to live.
If the economy is the most important piece; if it is truly just a numbers game, if the “strong will survive”, call my cell phone and tell me why I don’t deserve to live. You can use Messenger or call my line directly: 518-387-9626.
If I’m not available, call my husband. We’ve been married for 6 months. Explain why he’ll be a widow at 35.
Call my mom. She’s spent 30 years caring for me, is the person delivering my prescriptions, and has had the misfortune of resuscitating her daughter. Tell her what’s more important than her daughter’s life.
Call my Dad when you’re done with her. Explain to him that it’s more important to you that your credit score remains intact and that losing his daughter is the price you’re willing to pay.
Then call my brother and explain that you’re sorry that I’ll have to go, but you really want to go out to the bars again. It’s really hard being alone and you know you could have just waited, but why when only the sick and the elderly are dying?
Finally, call my little sister. She’s getting married. Tell her why she’ll have to hold a picture of me in a photograph instead of having me there. Tell her the truth. Tell her I didn’t deserve to live. Tell her why.
I recognize some of this is incendiary. I recognize that I’m making the choice to stay inside and we’re socially isolating and we’ll probably be okay because of that. But every time you or someone you know chooses not to wear the mask, or chooses not to self-isolate, or chooses convenience, vanity, and entertainment over being incredibly careful, you make the choice to bring that virus closer to my door. You make a decision that those of us with weak immune systems and bodies that are already fighting every day don’t deserve to live.
If you are not able to stomach the conversations I’ve listed above-if you can’t imagine telling someone why they don’t deserve to live or telling that to their family-put your fucking mask on and stay home.
The Friendly Neighborhood Diabetics 